Understanding Your Child’s Learning Style: A Guide for Parents

Every parent wants to see their children excel, especially during the teenage years when academics, emotions, and independence are all in full swing. But what happens when your child isn’t doing as well as you expect them to do in school? How do you handle the situation? It’s easy for any parent to assume their child is just lazy, not bright, or unserious. Have you ever stopped to consider that your child’s learning style might be the problem, not them?

They may be learning in a way that doesn’t align with how they are being taught. So, how can you understand and help them? You’ll find out shortly in this article.

What Is a Learning Style?

A learning style is simply the way your child learns best. It’s how their brain naturally prefers to take in and understand information. Some teenagers remember things better when they see pictures or diagrams. Others need to hear it said out loud. Some like to read and write notes, while others need to get hands-on and actually do something before it sticks.

Learning styles aren’t meant to put your child in a box. They provide us with a helpful way to understand why specific study methods are more effective for some children than others.

Think of it this way: if your child were trying to find a place they’ve never been, some would prefer a map, some a voice giving directions, while others might need to walk the route themselves: same goal, different approach. When you teach your child in a way that aligns with how their brain works best, something amazing happens. They become more confident, more motivated, and more capable.

Types of Learning Styles

Educational psychologists generally group learning preferences into four categories often referred to as the VARK model:

1. Visual Learners

These children prefer to see information. They’re drawn to diagrams, flowcharts, colour-coded notes, and mind maps. If your child enjoys watching YouTube explainers or turns revisions into posters, they likely fall into this category.

Tips for supporting visual learners:

• Encourage the use of highlighters and coloured pens
• Suggest drawing diagrams or timelines during revision
• Recommend educational videos or documentaries

2. Auditory Learners

Auditory learners absorb information best by hearing it. They may benefit from reading aloud, participating in discussions, or using rhymes and songs to aid in memory recall and retention.

Tips for supporting auditory learners:

• Let them record themselves reading notes and play them back
• Use podcasts or educational audiobooks
• Create study groups where they can explain concepts aloud

3. Reading or Writing Learners

These learners do well with traditional academic methods. They learn best through reading textbooks and writing notes. If your child is a natural note-taker and prefers written instructions over spoken ones, this might be their style.

Tips for supporting reading or writing learners:

• Plenty of note-taking and summarising exercises
• Encourage them to rewrite information in their own words
• Use flashcards and past questions

4. Kinesthetic Learners

Kinesthetic or tactile learners benefit from engaging in hands-on activities to understand concepts fully. They enjoy practical activities, hands-on experiments, or learning through role-play. These students may struggle to sit still for long lectures or retain information from just reading.

Tips for supporting kinesthetic learners:

• Turn learning into interactive games
• Use real-life examples or experiments
• Encourage breaks and movement during study sessions

How to Identify Your Child’s Learning Style

Most children don’t fall neatly into one category. In fact, many are multimodal learners, meaning they benefit from a mix of styles. However, identifying their dominant style can still make a big difference. Here’s how to spot the signs:

1. Observe: How does your child revise? Are they doodling diagrams, pacing around the room while reading out loud, or writing detailed notes?
2. Ask: Try questions like “How do you like to study?” or “What helps you remember things best?”
3. Try a VARK quiz: There are free learning style assessments online that can help you and your child figure this out together. Make it a fun activity, not a test.
4. Talk to their tutor or teacher: Educators often have insight into how a student engages with material in class.

Matching Learning Style with Tutorial Support

We believe tutorial support should never be one-size-fits-all. That’s why understanding a learner’s style is part of how we design our academic support programmes. Here’s what that might look like:

• A visual learner receiving tailored diagrams and charts during sessions
• An auditory learner getting more spoken explanations and interactive discussions
• A kinesthetic learner engaging in real-life scenarios or “teach-back” exercises
• A reading/writing learner receiving detailed handouts, summaries, and writing tasks

This is an effective practice. When tutorials are designed around how a student learns best, confidence grows, and performance improves.

How Parents Can Support at Home

1. Create the right environment: The space where your child studies can make a significant difference. A visual learner may benefit from having a whiteboard on the wall or using sticky notes throughout their room. An auditory learner may need a quiet place where they can record and replay their notes without distractions. Kinesthetic learners may appreciate having space to move around while they revise or use physical tools, such as flashcards or models, to enhance their learning experience. 
2. Encourage reflection: Get into the habit of asking your child reflective questions about their learning. Simple prompts, such as “What did you find interesting today?” or “What helped you understand that better?” can encourage them to think more deeply about their learning process and build their confidence when they realise what works best for them.
3. Avoid comparisons: It’s tempting to compare your child to their siblings, friends, or even to how you learned when you were their age. But learning isn’t one-size-fits-all, and it’s certainly not a race. Celebrate your child’s strengths and remember that every learning journey is unique and special.
4. Model your own learning: Let your child see that learning isn’t just for school but is something we all continue to do, regardless of our age. Share what’s helping you understand things better. When they see that even adults have preferred ways of learning, it normalises their preferences and shows that learning can be fun and ongoing.

Final Thoughts

Your child is not lazy. They’re not “just not good at math” or “not focused.” More often than not, they’re simply trying to learn in a way that doesn’t suit them. When we take the time to understand how they learn best, we’re not just helping them pass exams; we’re also helping them achieve their full potential. We’re giving them tools for life.

Knowing your child’s learning style can also help when making decisions about school placements, especially for UK boarding schools. Some schools lean heavily towards traditional, lecture-style teaching. Others prioritise independent learning, group work, or real-world projects. Understanding your child’s needs helps you choose a school where they’ll thrive.

At Brains & Butter, we work closely with families to ensure every child receives the support that best suits them, from tutorial help to school placements and beyond. We believe the right fit is more than the school. It’s about how your child learns, grows, and becomes who they are meant to be.

Ready to get help? Contact us.